


let me talk about the things i need for a minute

by orphan_account



Series: incorrigible [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: American AU, Divorce, Fluff, Happy Ending, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Mental Disorders, M/M, Seattle, Singer!Harry, businessman!Louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-04 12:47:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17304914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Everything that happened after Louis listened to his voicemail.





	let me talk about the things i need for a minute

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, here is part two, the last one, of the series. I just wanted to wrap up loose ends. It's not the best, but I tried. Please remember, dates, birthdays, and anniversaries are very much incorrect as well as family and friend related things. This is written without any reference to Harry's actual music. It's completely made up. Thank you if you read the first part. If not, it's not totally necessary if you do, but I suggest it. Title comes from 'Beneath The Streetlights And The Moon' by JP Cooper. Here is a list of songs that helped me along the way:  
> -'Caves' - Jack's Mannequin  
> -'Forget Me Not' - Marianas Trench  
> -'Waterfall' - With Confidence  
> -'Sweet Creature' - Harry Styles  
> -'Synesthesia' - Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness  
> -'High Dive' - Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness  
> -'Latch-Acoustic' - Sam Smith  
> -'Stolen' - Dashboard Confessional
> 
> Hopefully you give them a listen regardless of the fic or not. Again, thank you so much. Enjoy. x

He was rather unsure about how things turned out this way. It was unsettling to think he had been caught up in a godforsaken affair, on both sides, a pregnancy, and closeted homophobia. It seemed that everything before was some sort of cruel lie, which in all honesty, it was a big lie masked by trips to the beach or business trips. At the same time, he appeared to be living a complete dream. He was living a life that never seemed possible, but he didn’t want to change any aspect of it whatsoever. Despite that, all of his walls seemed to cave.

 

_ He had been so beyond nervous at the thought of standing at the end of an aisle while a lady dressed in gorgeous white walked down it. His heart raced like a horse as he looked out across the pews at the smiling faces, some of them already with tears in their eyes at the thought of the ceremony to come. Next thing you know, everyone is standing as the bride makes her way towards the man clad in a navy suit. He told her how stunning she looked. She blushed, even after three years. By the end of their sentimental handwritten vows, tears were in their mother’s eyes as well as their own. As he kissed his bride, it felt like sparks ignited everywhere. The newlyweds danced their way back down the aisle, hand in hand, smiles on their faces. _

 

_ The day had been swirls of navy, periwinkle, and white. So many smiles and happy tears and beautiful words. His heart leapt in his chest every time he caught glance of his wife from across the table or as she went to mingle and thank all of her friends for coming to the ceremony. They laughed like children as they smashed cake into each other’s faces. Little did anyone know, four years later, the couple would be far from happy together. The relationship, the marriage, was broken into fragile pieces all because the couple had found some kind of love or fondness elsewhere. _

 

_ Louis never thought this would be his life. He never thought it would be a mess of divorce papers, tears, stress, business papers, and caring for Harry. In all honesty, Harry was very supportive of everything that happened to him. He knew when to hold onto Louis, and he knew when to let go and give Louis the reign. Louis cried a lot. He wasn’t sure why he was crying over Amaya because he did something just as bad as her. Harry tried to calm him down each and every time. Unfortunately, one night, about two months after filing for divorce (which happened a week after Louis got the news about the baby, and Louis spilled about his relationship with Harry) Louis had some sort of psychotic breakdown. Despite the pleas, Harry rang for an ambulance to come get Louis. He spent two weeks in the hospital where he received medication and treatment to his knuckles that were battered and bruised. All Louis felt was his world caving. _

 

_ When Louis came back to Harry’s apartment, the two men didn’t leave the bed for a whole day even though they both knew they had obligations to uphold. However, the two didn’t want to let go of each other. They felt like they might lose each other if they dared let the other slip from his arms. Louis didn’t talk much for the rest of that week. He opted to do his work from the couch at home while Harry practiced in their bedroom. Harry had worked really hard over those two months to work out a few songs that would soon be put onto his first official album. He had already put out a song about three weeks after Louis showed back up to his apartment twenty minutes after he thought he lost the man forever. _

 

_ By April, Louis and Harry moved into a proper house together. They decided to move about thirty minutes outside of the city which was far enough from the bustle, but close enough for the two to get to work when need be. The house was gray stone with black finishing. It had three bedrooms and a spacious open concept. They thought it would be perfect for the family they someday hoped to build. The first night in the home, they made love all night long, the lights dim, Billie Holiday playing in the background. It was definitely a way to break in their new bed, a rather comfy and large one that is. The next morning, they made breakfast in just their boxers and fed each other like lovesick teens. _

 

_ In late May, Harry announced that he would be gone promo-ing on the western side of the country in the months of July and August. Yes, Harry was so happy to finally perform at some bigger venues, but his heart ached at the thought of Louis not being able to come to every city with him. Louis felt the same pain ache in his chest when Harry gave him the news, but he smiled so big when he heard that Harry’s dream had become possible. They kissed each other long and slow that night, getting tipsy off pinot grigio while they laid skin to skin in the bathtub. Louis left a soft bruise on the side of Harry’s neck from the playful nipping he did in his wine-drunk state. Harry only giggled in response, not caring who might be able to see the mark on his neck. _

 

_ In June, Amaya started making things even harder with the divorce than before. She demanded compensation for the alleged trauma of her husband being with a man along with her postpartum depression. It took so much for Louis to keep calm when he heard that is what she wanted. There was no way he was going to let that happen, especially since the baby wasn’t his. He could plead something about her being homophobic, right? He just sighed went onto the porch to smoke a cigarette before Harry returned home from a meeting about next month. One cigarette turned into three because there didn’t seem to be enough nicotine to calm the nerves so tense in his body. _

 

_ June was just starting to wrap up when the doorbell rang. Louis was busy in the office working on a write up for his in office interview tomorrow. Odd, yes, but he answered it anyway, only to come face to face with Amaya for the first time in nearly seven months, a baby in her arms. Louis almost lost it when Amaya pushed her way into his house. He had no idea how she had managed to find his home. A chill ran down his spine. He attempted to hold the tears back as she threw slur after slur in his direction, not seeming to care that the level of her voice woke her child and caused him to wail helplessly. Needless to say, it wasn’t hard to process the divorce after that day. _

 

_ It was the day before Harry left for San Francisco when Louis returned from San Diego, tears in his eyes because it was finally over, and he could finally give his all to Harry. Harry kissed him, hugged him, held him. They stayed up all night talking until it was time for Harry to head out the door on a two month journey. Again, they kissed a long time before Louis finally patted his butt, giving him a nudge towards the door. He knew this would be one of the greatest things of Harry’s life, and he wanted Harry to have the best time of his life even if it meant the two being separated for some time. Even though things caved in, Louis felt at peace as he rested in the house all by himself, the history finally disappearing from his mind, so he could focus on his future, their future. _

 

**_-_ **

 

_ To be rather frank, Harry was very stressed out by late January when Louis had his meltdown. He had been trying so hard to keep Louis calm and balance his songwriting and career with that. To say the least, it left Harry heartbroken when Louis had been taken from the house for two weeks. Sure, Louis was allowed to have visitors for an hour each day, but it was lonely back at the apartment. The space felt strangely empty for the first time since Harry moved there. _

 

_ One would think that having the person you love in the same room as you while you worked would be some sort of distraction. However, for Harry, it was quite the opposite. He became inspired by Louis' presence. The writing process seemed so easy at that point. As embarrassing as it may sound, he wrote one of his best pieces just from the heavy weight of Louis' hand on his shoulder as he sat at the piano. Louis even was able to sing along to the lyrics by the end of the week, a broad smile resting on his lips. That made Harry radiate with pure joy. _

 

_ Now, in the emptiness of the bedroom, Harry was at a pure loss for even a simple rhythm. He banged his hands down on the keys, letting out a long sigh after about ten minutes of producing nothing. He knew he shouldn’t get so frustrated, but he needed three more songs to present for the album. The thirteenth night alone, Harry went to bed early, utterly exhausted from the struggle. The next morning, fortunately, Louis was released back into Harry’s care. _

 

_ The two men spent the first day of Louis being home curled up in the bed. Louis didn’t speak to Harry, but his expressions were enough for Harry to understand that he wasn’t quite alright yet. Harry did all of the talking that day simply to soothe Louis and the noticeable tension built up in his shoulders. Yes, Harry still took his pills, but he was almost finished with them which meant he could focus more of his time on Louis healing.  _

 

_ The second day of Louis being home, Harry sat down at the piano, ready to play his favorite song about Louis: the one Louis knew all the lyrics to. Harry’s heart began to sink as Louis unsuredly sang a couple lyrics at a time, not quite getting them all correct. He brushed it off as Louis' exhaustion and stress from the hospital.  _

 

_ Harry’s bottom lip began to quiver later that night after he played Louis' song for the third time that day. The lyrics still didn’t seem to come from Louis' mouth like the used to so freely and passionately. For Louis' benefit, Harry shook it off and plastered a smile on his face. He continued to play the song over and over again, vowing to not let Louis forget all that they had together. Harry had a lot that he feared for the upcoming months. He didn’t want to lose Louis mentally because of all the stress and unnecessary drama, but he also didn’t want to lose him physically if the divorce process didn’t go over as well as the two hoped. Even after all this time, he had insecurities. Harry didn’t want to sound so selfish at such a pivotal moment in Louis' life, but after the past year between the two of them, he just wanted to be sure for once. _

 

_ Every night as the men lay together in bed, Harry would tell Louis little stories about what they had done together. He even told the smallest details and always reminded Louis how much he loved him. He knew Louis wouldn’t forget these things, but it was a gentle push to try and get him back to the state that Harry knew so well. Harry placed a kiss to Louis' temple as the older man curled up next to him causing a wave of relief to wash over Harry.  _

 

_ On what would be the final night of Louis' silence, he broke down into tears, giving Harry a pleading sort of look. A look that screamed for someone, Harry specifically, to bring him back to who he is. All Harry needed to do was nod in response before Louis curled around him once more, tugging the soft sheets up around their clothed bodies. Harry told Louis that he was trying his best at this point. He had so much faith in the man. He believed that he would be able to overcome the barricade, so he could live the life he wanted to instead of the crashing waves of divorce complications. That night, Louis fell asleep for another early night. Harry opted to stay up and watch over his Louis. _

 

_ Louis woke with a jolt around four in the morning while Harry was scratching away at some papers from the dim light that he got from his phone. Harry reached out to place his hand on Louis' cheek to soothe him. Even in the weak light, Harry could see the slight upward curl of Louis' lips. Harry asked Louis if he was alright. Louis shakily replied that he loved Harry. It would be a lie to say that Harry’s eyes didn’t tear up when he heard those words pass chapped lips. He placed his work down on the table next to the bed before shifting his body to lay flush against Louis'. _

 

_ Harry let Louis know that he understood what was happening, maybe not the situation, but definitely the circumstance. Louis nodded, brushing his nose against Harry’s. Harry made sure to let Louis aware that Harry knew he was here even if it seemed nearly impossible to do so. With that, Louis pressed a kiss to Harry’s lips, a small chuckle coming from Harry’s mouth. Soon after the kiss, the lyrics came pouring from Louis' lips, albeit softly, so just Harry would be the one to hear them if someone else were in the room. Next thing, Harry is singing along with Louis, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes once more. _

 

_ About six hours later, Harry was perched on top of the kitchen counter, Louis trapped between his legs as they kissed lazily after the oh-so nutritious breakfast of coffee. Harry took his chance to mess up Louis' hair even more. It had grown out longer than Louis usually let it, but he wasn’t going to lie about liking it when Harry tugged at a few strands. In all honesty, by the end of the day, it had Louis giving him a blowjob where he fell asleep with his nose nuzzled against Harry’s hip, a blissful smile on Harry’s lips. _

 

_ A few months later, when Louis was in an immaculate state, Harry announced his promo-ing deal for the summer. Despite the fear in Louis' eyes, he smiled wide. Harry knew his eyes held the same fear that Louis' did, but a smile managed to form on his lips just the same. Harry was flushed and jittery sitting there on the porch with Louis causing Louis to place his palm on Harry’s knee to stop it from bouncing. Harry thanked him and told Louis to never forget him because he knew that he himself would never forget Louis. In response, Louis simply laughed, and Harry just knew that everything was going to be okay. _

 

_ The day that Harry left, he didn’t feel like letting go of Louis quite yet, but he was nudged out of house by the man smiling at him. Aside from all that had been thrown in Louis' direction, his walls were carefully being established once more. This moment would be the start of their new, glorious life together. _

 

_ - _

 

“Ah, piss of Jack!” Louis laughed as he hugged the man in the foyer, the two men accustomed to each other’s banter.

 

“As if. See you at the office tomorrow?” Jack smiled, his arm going around his wife Lindsey’s waist.

 

“Of course. It was a pleasure to finally meet you, Lindsey.”

 

“It was about time that I did. I’ve heard many top notch things about the Louis Carmichael,” Lindsay played, resting her head on Jack’s shoulder.

 

“I’m nothing too special.” Louis quirked his brow at Jack.

 

“So modest, but we must be on our way now. Have a lovely night, Louis,” Jack wrapped up, Louis nodding in response as he opened the door for the couple in front of him.

 

“Thanks for coming over. Good night!”

 

Louis shut the door behind the two, letting out a content sigh as he turned to face the living room, arms stretching over his head. The past month had been something Louis had to adjust to. He had been so used to having Harry by his side for a change that it was almost unnatural to not have him in his presence. It was abnormal to think that two Decembers ago Louis had found love in someone else. Harry somehow became everything Louis wanted and more. He can’t even imagine how he survived long periods of time away from Harry back then.

 

He was jarred from his thoughts by the sound of his cell phone ringing in his pocket. When he looked down at the screen, the number wasn’t saved in his phone, but he presumed it was someone from the work project.

 

“Hello?” Louis answered quickly.

 

“Please can we talk?” a voice asked.

 

Louis froze. The voice was muffled, but there was no doubt in his mind who it was. “I don’t think that would be good. Have a nice-”

 

“Please don’t hang up!” the voice begged.

 

“Why on earth shouldn’t I? Everything is over, Amaya. What do you want from me?”

 

She sighed, and Louis could almost hear the distress in his voice. He couldn’t give in. There was no way. Especially after the brutal verbal attack on him just a month earlier. By now, he was sat on the sofa, squeezing a pillow in his other arm. “I just want to know why you did it.”

 

Louis gnawed on his lip, brow furrowing. It seemed nearly impossible to explain to your ex-wife why you formed a relationship with a man when there wasn’t an issue throwing slurs at him so recently. Before he knew what he was doing, the words were tumbling past his lips. “I guess I just always knew, okay? I didn’t know how to come to terms with it necessarily. Before you, when I was nineteen, I foolishly proposed to the boy I was secretly seeing at the time. When I was rejected for a woman, I thought that was supposed to be what happened. I thought that me moving onto a woman would be normal and accepted and I could have that in my life with ease and that I’m just not worthy of a man’s time. It’s not like I don’t love women as well, but I was in love with a man at the time. It was so easy to love you, I swear. It was beautiful, but I still always had the small part of me that was never content or settled after we married.”

 

There was no response on the other end. The only sound was Amaya’s breathing, so he continued. “It was the November before last when I met Harry. I was drunk and hurt. It just- happened. I let those thoughts and feelings come back to me even more so.”

 

The line was quiet on both ends for what felt like eternity. “I met Stephen when I went out to the beach the same weekend when you were in Seattle that November. Nothing happened between us. He was just someone I felt like I could talk to when I was lonely. We never did anything together, Louis. We were so  _ vanilla  _ together. We were together for so long that I started thinking it was something personal against me. In February, I had sex with him. Immediately after, I knew something had happened. We didn’t take precaution. Then you came home so soon after that and we both seemed so happy that I just let it happen. I thought you were happy because of me, and I thought I could make my mistake work.”

 

“I disgust myself when I saw ‘it was me, not you’ because it’s so goddamn cliche, but in all honesty it was true. I wasn’t fully allowing myself to be the person I truly needed to be.”

 

Amaya paused. “I’m sorry for what I said to you.”

 

Louis shrugged even though she couldn’t see. “I should have expected it. I started a chain of never-ending events.”

 

“But I thought it was me at the time. It was the rage. I shouldn’t have let those things leave my mouth because they aren’t true, you know? You genuinely do look happy and comfortable. I think I kind of mucked that up.”

 

Louis gave his pillow a tight squeeze, shutting his eyes in hopes it would block out the memories of the previous month. “I am happy, so happy. Don’t let that make you think any less of yourself. You  _ are _ beautiful and lovely, but it just didn’t work out in the end. It’s not a fairytale. There is no way life is perfectly picturesque.”

 

“Yeah…” Amaya trailed, this time leaving an uncomfortable silence. Louis coughed awkwardly after a few moments.

 

“So, um…” 

 

“I’ll mail your last box tomorrow.”

 

“I don’t want it.”

 

“What? But-”

 

“No, keep it. Keep part of me there. We will still always be part of each other’s lives. Keep it,” Louis urged, not wanting to have to deal with another package from San Diego. He wanted new things from Seattle that were bought between him and Harry.

 

“Okay,” Amaya reluctantly agreed, and Louis could almost hear the faint sound of a smile in her voice.

 

“Okay. Goodbye, Amaya.”

 

“Goodbye, Louis.”

 

With that, Louis let out a sigh of relief. He knew there was no reason for the two to try and contact each other again. He knew this was the moment of his life he had been totally freed of all connections to his undesired past. He shoved the pillow into his face, letting out a sob, his shoulders hunching over as he cried. His body felt like his, and he felt the ache and dreariness leave his chest, a waterfall of joy washing over him.

 

Red, puffy eyes and blanched cheeks were what he was met with in the reflection of himself on his phone. He absentmindedly, opened the device, a smile resting on his lips. His eyes were met with the smiling face of Harry as his background. Almost, as if on instinct, he pulled up all his photos and videos. A chuckle passed his lips when the first video to appear was one of Harry making silly faces at the camera while eating an ice cream cone.

 

“Miss you, darling,” Louis murmured to himself and the video playing in front of him.

 

Despite the longing to be by Harry’s side, he still smiled everyday knowing that Harry was doing what made him happy. And of course that he would be home to Louis before either of them knew it.

 

After Louis made his decision to stay in Seattle last year, he managed to convince his corporal managers to have him stay at the Seattle location permanently instead of going back to San Diego or Phoenix or Salt Lake. At most he would have to go to Portland for the occasional meeting or conference. However, Louis was more than happy to take Harry to those where they would eventually turn those day trips to long weekends. This was a life the two men didn’t mind.

 

Louis stretched his arms over his head again, curling up into the arm of the sofa, pillow in hands. It didn’t take long for him to drift of into a slumber. Crying usually wore him out quicker than most. The air around him was cool, but it felt soothing against his heated skin.

 

_ “Tag! You’re it!” A little girl laughed running away from the man towering over her. The man couldn’t help, but smile, running at a slow pace behind the girl, so she could get away easily. She squealed anyway when she looked over her shoulder. _

 

_ On the swing hanging above the back porch was another man with a much smaller, younger baby girl in his arms. He stared down at her, the little one cooing as his lips curled up into a smile before adverting his attention to the game of tag in the yard in front of him. The man running around finally caught up to the child, scooping her up in his arms and throwing her over his shoulder. Their laughter filled the air causing the other man’s smile to widen incredibly. The two out of breath figures made their way towards the porch, their faces becoming more visible to the man on the deck, his breath caught in his throat. _

 

_ “I love-” _

 

Louis woke with a start on the couch about an hour later, silently cursing at the fact that he did not get to continue with the dream he was having. It was probably one of the happiest things that he had ever dreamed. It was a life that he envisioned. A small smile spread onto his lips when he grabbed his phone and saw that he had a message from Harry. 

 

He didn’t miss a beat before opening it. In front of his eyes was a picture of Harry, smiling wide on the small stage-like area in the empty performance hall. It became a thing that Harry did every night for Louis. Beneath the photo was a simple “I love you” which caused Louis to smile even more than necessary, probably. He typed out a quick “I love you” as well knowing that the customary post-show phone call would come in about two hours. Those were always the two longest hours of Louis' life, but it was always worth it when he heard Harry’s voice on the other end of the line. He knew his voice would reach out to Louis, allowing him to feel comfort away from home.

 

Louis glanced up to look out the window cut in the front wall of the house which overlooked part of the driveway. It conveniently faced westward, so the couple always got a good look at the sunset. It was even more amazing that there was a built in window seat that provided an excellent location to watch the color melt away from the sky. He let out a content sigh as he stared out at the mostly dark sky, unable to shake away the thoughts of Harry being home in his arms soon.

**_-_ **

 

One of the most irritating things about this promo was the fact that they drove everywhere. Sure, it gave everyone plenty of time to rest or do little things, but at the same time, it was rather boring. Harry, more often than not, was mentally whining that he didn’t have Louis in the car with him to keep him entertained. He attempted to sleep as much as he could, but he was never superbly fond of sleeping in cars. Now, he wasn’t being rude to the rest of the people he made friends with on the road, but they just didn’t give him the same feeling of comfort and amusement as Louis would. Harry was thankful that Louis went to his Portland show, but that was last month, and there was still two weeks of promo before he could see Louis again.

 

Harry rested his head against the temperate glass of the window, letting out a small sigh, his breath fogging up the glass just in the slightest. Outside, many cars and trees passed his gaze, leaving sort of an empty feeling in the pit of his stomach. He glanced down at his phone to check the time, already knowing it was still too early to call Louis. Since Harry has left, Louis had made a bigger deal out of going into the office everyday, so he could stay busy. Sometimes, he went home at a reasonable hour, but Harry knew that today was Louis' mass conference where he just might be getting the French branch to sign onto the deal. Anyway, Harry let out a sigh out of boredom, not having a clue as to what to do.

 

There was three hours left until the crew arrived in Salt Lake City where they would crash for the night before the show tomorrow. As happy as performing made Harry, he still missed his little calls with Louis or laying in bed with him. The two hadn’t spoken of anything serious since the one week back at Harry’s old apartment where, depending on how you thought of it, took a turn for the worst or possibly the best. Of course, they were together and love each other unconditionally, but it stayed that way. Harry believed that it was the best way for the two of them to live especially after all the frustrations Louis went through.

 

It excited Harry immensely knowing that after the long time of being seperated, where the he could only think about talking to Louis, the road would finally bring him right back to where he belonged. The two lover’s hearts had made home together in the suburbs of Seattle.

  
  


The three hours of driving went by pathetically slow. After a night of rest, a meal, and set up, it was time for Harry to get ready to go out onto the stage. In all honesty, he still had nerves fluttering in his abdomen before each show. His steps onto the stage were slow and a bit nervous as well, but he was greeted with soft cheers and clapping. However, this time around, something special caught his eye. He didn’t mind, but in this instance, his heart skipped a bit.

 

Towards the front of the smaller crowd was a girl about sixteen or seventeen years of age, her hand grasping a tiny pride flag which she waved shyly when he stepped up to the front of the stage. If he knew anything about Salt Lake City, it’s that they were decently conservative. He pondered a thought for a brief second before he slipped himself off the stage into the area between where he was and the makeshift barrier. He walked up to the section where the girl stood. Everyone’s eyes were on him as he leaned over to speak to the girl.

 

“Hi there. What’s your name?” Harry asked, the girl staring at him with wide eyes, almost forgetting to breathe.

 

“I- Oh, hi. Cassie,” she responded softly into the silence around her.

 

“Well, Cassie. I would just like to let you know that you should be very proud of the person that you are, and I hope that you thoroughly enjoy the show tonight. Whoever she is, she is one lucky person to have someone so unafraid to be themselves,” Harry spoke honestly, seeing part of his young self in the girl in front of him. He didn’t want her to have to face the same struggles that he fought against when he was her age.

 

Her cheeks flushed deeply, shaking her head a bit. “I bet he is lucky to be loved by you.”

 

It was Harry’s turn to flush, he hadn’t made any comments about him being with a man. Not because he was embarrassed or worried, but he wanted to keep a private life between him and his Louis after everything over the past year.

 

Cassie continued speaking, “I could tell by the fear and pain in the words you wrote, but all the love. Only some people have that edge of fear, the ones that have something so stupid to fear, but the world has labeled it something to shy away from. And you have a love ballad called ‘Louis’, so it wasn’t that hard.”

 

Harry leaned over, wrapping her in a warm hug, laughing. The rest of the crowd around them cheered, some of them whistling. They pulled away from each other, Harry flashing her a smile of thanks before he climbed back up onto the stage, taking the microphone in his hand.

 

“Good evening, Salt Lake!” he exclaimed. “I want to make a quick announcement about this album before I start. I started writing some of these pieces over a year ago when I was in a difficult situation. As time progressed, I became more comfortable with who I am and who I am love. Most songs on this album have been inspired by my partner, Louis. He is someone who has always found a way to put happiness inside of me even when I am not okay. I want to take this moment as a time to say that, despite what the world may say, do what makes you happy, love who makes you happy, and don’t let something bad hold you back.”

 

Harry glanced down at Cassie on the floor, winking subtly at her while people hooted and hollered around him, pride filling his chest. 

 

“This one is called ‘Louis’,” he announced, placing himself in the chair before picking up the cello in his hands. He looked out over the crowd, a smile on his face.  _ Maybe this will be better than I ever imagined. Maybe everything will be alright,  _ he thought.

  
  


Harry was completely buzzing after his show. Sure, his songs are slow and rather saddening at times, but he could literally feel energy from every person in that room. It caused his heart to soar, a wide smile forming on his face as he said his ‘thank you’s’ before exiting the stage. He knew the minute that he got back to his hotel room that night, he would be able to call Louis and tell him everything about the experience of tonight.

 

“Come on Louis, pick the fuck up,” Harry whined desperately after about five rings, a short breath passing his lips when he was faced with the sound of Louis' voicemail. It was something that Harry hadn’t expected. Sometimes it might take a few rings to pick up if he isn’t near his phone, but he always picks up the first try.

 

He sat up, letting out a small whimper as he clutched the phone to his chest. Truthfully, he shouldn’t be worried. Louis could have easily been held back a bit late at the office or he fell asleep early from the exhaustion of the day… But he wouldn’t not want to talk to Harry. That’s when Harry’s mind started spiralling, thinking of all the negative outcomes for why Louis didn’t answer his call. Maybe he fell in the shower or he was being held at gunpoint because someone was robbing them or someone hit him on the way home from work. He was knocked from his daze when his phone buzzed against his skin.

 

_ Busy, darling. Call you in ten x _

 

Harry let out a sigh of relief, falling back onto his pillow. He shifted on the pillow, uncomfortable from the cold wetness on the pillowcase from his damp hair. Okay, at least Louis was alive, so what could possibly be the reason for him being so busy? He, again, just brushed it off as Louis busy with business.

 

The next ten minutes were quite possibly the longest ten minutes of Harry’s life, so he nearly fell off the bed in his scramble to grab the phone the moment it started ringing.

 

“Hi, Louis,” Harry spoke, out of breath.

 

“You good? Sounds like you just ran a marathon,” Louis chuckled.

 

Harry smiled. “No, just really excited to hear your voice and talk to you about the day.”

 

“You are precious. Tell me all about your performance.”

 

Harry proceeded to explain everything that happened to him that night. He told Louis how comfortable and content he felt playing the show and how that girl made him feel so excited and how he got to talk about Louis. Harry could pretty much hear Louis' smile on the other end.

 

“Harry, you have no idea how happy that makes me. I know I tell you every single night, but it is absolutely amazing, and I am beyond proud of you for doing all of this with your life. You are doing exactly what makes you happy with so much confidence.”

 

“I love you,” Harry murmured.

 

“And I love you,” Louis whispered in response.

 

Harry took a deep breath before continuing, pulling the comforter over his body. “What were you busy doing?”

 

“Oh, I was just out. Went out after work. Pretty crazy day. We have to wait until tomorrow for a response from the French branch.”

 

“Yeah, but like, where did you go?”

 

Louis paused. “Was at the grocery store. I was out of coffee, and I wanted to treat myself to some Oreos.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“I’m sorry, love. I didn’t want to be disrespectful to the cashier, you know? I hate when people don’t pay attention to people who are just trying to do their job.”

 

Harry let out a sigh, kind of melting at how considerate Louis is. There was no way he could be mad at the man. “You are so sweet.”

 

“I promise I won’t miss any more of your calls in the next two weeks. I will always answer. I was just caught up tonight. You know I always want to talk to you. I miss you so much.”

 

“Yes, Louis. I know. Miss you like crazy. Two weeks. Just two more weeks and I’ll be headed back home only because you are there waitin’ for me.”

 

“I’ll be right here waiting just for you, Harry.”

 

Harry smiled at his words, nuzzling his face down into the pillow. “Still got on your suit?”

 

“‘Course I do. I bet you look all fluffy and soft curled up in bed.”

 

“Bet your tie is loose ‘round your neck. Hm, how’d you know I was snugglin’?”

 

“Always is, but I can tell by your voice. Whenever you get all comfortable in bed your voice starts to slur a little bit and get all sleepy sounding.”

 

“Such a smart man,” Harry giggled into the pillow.

 

“Sleep, love. ‘M going to try to get out early tomorrow, so I might try to call you while you are on the road, yeah?”

 

Harry nodded absentmindedly. “Mhm, sounds lovely. Goodnight, Louis.”

 

“Goodnight, Harry. I love you.”

 

“Love you,” Harry murmurs before pressing the end call button, curling up into the sheets once more after plugging his phone in for the night.

 

He thought about the next two weeks, itching for the last show in Olympia to come soon, so he could finally go home to Louis and sleep in their own bed for the first time in two months. It didn’t take much more thought that that to lull the boy to complete and utter exhaustion, hopefully to dream about the beautiful man he loved.

 

**_-_ **

 

Louis groaned lowly, blinking quickly in an attempt to wake himself up. He was driving back home from an unexpected five day excursion to Spokane when he found out that his mother had been but in the hospital after having a minor stroke. He got the call about her the day after Harry spoke to him about him on stage. He immediately called Harry, crying, as he packed a duffel bag. Thankfully, Harry managed to calm him down within ten minutes which was enough reassurance to allow him to make the four hour drive across the state with some ease.

 

Now, it was rolling on one in the morning, and he still had an hour drive home. He had been restless all week long, not wanting to leave his mother’s side. He took this time to talk to her about work and how he was feeling. Last December, he had mentioned the divorce to his parents, but nothing more really besides that fact that “it just wasn’t working”.

 

“Are you seeing anyone?” His mother asked softly. “You seem very content and settled.”

 

Louis squeezed his hands together, taking in a sharp breath. He was unsure of how his mother would react to what he was going to say, but there was no point in leaving his mother in the dark. “Yeah, I’m with someone. I’ve been seeing them for almost two years now.”

 

“Two years? But I only heard of this divorce in December?”

 

Louis inhaled deeply. “I was having an affair, okay?”

 

“I thought your father and I taught you better than that…”

 

“I know, I know, and she ended up having one as well. Amaya actually had a baby. I mean, I still did what I did which I can’t take back, but in all honesty, I wouldn’t because I am so happy right now.”

 

His mother tilted her head slightly. “I never was a fan of Amaya.”

 

Louis choked out a pitiful laugh, shaking his head. “How come?”

 

“She never seemed to suit you. You looked so happy, but it was superficial, honey. I never believed that the happiness went all the way through you. I don’t think she ever got it in her head that you were a busy man that didn’t want all the same things that she did.”

 

Louis shrugged nervously, slumping back into the uncomfortable metal chair. “It’s true. I was never honest with myself.”

 

“Tell me about who you are with now.”

 

Louis bit down onto his lower lip, clenching his eyes shut momentarily. When he opened his eyes, he let out a deep breath, his mother staring at him, waiting for a response. “His name is Harry, and I love him.”

 

“Does he treat you well?” His mother asked, unphased.

 

Louis smiled, relaxing his shoulders which made her smile in return. “Yeah, perfectly.”

 

Louis spent the rest of his visiting time talking to his mother about his relationship with Harry, how it made him feel, and what he planned for the upcoming years and so on. His mother looked so pleased and enthralled with what he had to say.

 

“I’ll be there, yes?” His mother confirmed at the end of his last night with her.

 

“Thank you, mom. Thank you so much. Take it easy, okay? Call if you need anything. I will take a plane if I have to. Brandon will come by tomorrow to get things situated with rehab. I just can’t miss anymore work right now. It’s hectic. I would stay if I could, I swear.”

 

“I know, honey. Be careful. I’ll be alright. Tell Harry ‘hello’ for me.”

 

Louis nodded, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, whispering a small ‘I love you’ before heading out to his car for the boring car ride home. That is where he was now, trapped in a daze by the road before him, an uninterested look on his face. He lazily reached to turn the radio to a different channel, hoping something would be on to make him stay awake. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard the oh-so familiar voice of Harry singing on the radio, he quickly turned the volume up, not wanting to miss each sound his voice made.

 

Each sound that came from Harry’s mouth made Louis feel some sort of color that erupted deep in his core. He felt different shades of yellow and pink and orange and red. All the colors that reminded him of love and warmth and happiness because that is all he ever felt with Harry. For the rest of the car ride, Louis drove with a smile plastered on his lips even after Harry’s song was over. 

 

It was past two in the morning when Louis arrived home. He tiredly made his way into the house, not stopping until he was sprawled out on the bed. He glanced at the photographs adorning the top of the dresser. A lot of them were of him and Harry, but there was the occasional photo of Louis with his brother and parents and a picture of Louis' niece in gymnastics also sat up there. Louis smiled to himself, proud of his brother for being able to take care of his family, and always having time for their parents even when Louis was far away from the family home for work. He knew he would never understand the effort and time and energy that Brandon put into everything for them.

 

Even though he hadn’t seen them in nearly three years at this point, he still could see the pride that Brandon had in his eyes whenever he saw his daughter prancing around the house. The last day of the time Louis had seen his brother, Brandon gave him a picture of Eden, his little girl. 

 

“It’s just a momento. I know it’s hard for you to get here, so keep this,” his brother had told him before he climbed into the car. The photo was of four year old Eden up on one of the balance beams, slightly falling over, but a big, laughing smile on her lips. Louis framed it the minute he got home.

 

Louis' eyes lit up when a certain thought passed through his brain, smiling warmly at the idea. He kicked off his shoes and jeans before properly getting situated under the covers. Just as he was about to rest his head onto the pillow, his phone rang, Harry’s name on the screen. 

 

“Hm, babe?” he answered sleepily.

 

“Shit, sorry. I know it’s late, but you said you would call or text when you got home, and I just wanted to make sure that you were alright. I know I’m a worry wart, but I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s okay, it’s okay. I know, I got very distracted, I apologize. I promise that I’m all good. I just got all comfy in bed.”

 

“Oh, good, yes. I should let you go, so you can rest for work.”

 

“No, no. I’m okay with staying up if it means talking to you. Only if you are good with staying up, too.”

 

“Absolutely, sweetheart. How is your mom?”

 

“She’s lovely. I told her about you.”

 

“You what?” Harry questioned, panic in his voice. Louis could already see him shooting upright in bed, eyes wide.

 

“Hush, silly. She already loves you much more than she ever, well, um- more than Amaya.”

 

There was a pregnant pause. “So she really does like me?”

 

“It’s hard for someone not to like you. You are beautiful all around.”

 

Harry let out a sigh of relief. “I can’t figure out if I should smile or cry.”

 

Louis laughed softly, tugging the blankets around him tighter, a warm feeling tingling in his belly. “Have I ever told you how- Oh my god, this is so cliche. Okay, have I ever told you that you make me feel colors?”

 

“I’m blushing now you idiot. But are you trying to write my next song for me?”

 

“Pink always looks good on your cheeks. Like that’s the color I feel when we hold each other, and when you speak, I hear yellow because you sound like happiness to me. That’s what I want to hear forever.”

 

“You are a walking cliche, Louis Tomlinson. I swear to it.”

 

“Think you just bring it out in me.”

 

“That so?” Harry teased.

 

“But of course,” Louis spoke, glancing over at the alarm clock on the bedside table. It was nearly three in the morning.

 

“Sleep, Louis,” Harry whispered knowingly.

 

Louis rolled his eyes, letting out a small whine. “Okay, but I’ll be looking forward to our call later on. Oh, and seeing you in a week. I can’t wait to have you in my arms again.”

 

“I can’t wait either. I love you, Louis. Goodnight,” Harry murmured, giggling softly.

 

“Love you, Harry. Night,” Louis sighed, ending the call and setting the phone on the bedside table.

 

Louis laughed softly to himself as he thought about just how corny it was to live in a place that conveniently spit rain a lot of the time which fed to the utter cliche he was to give Harry kisses in the rain. It was hard not to though. Simply, Harry looked way too beautiful underneath the fall of the rain. Not to say that he didn’t look beautiful at any other given time, but in those moments, the universe seemed to be altered.

 

The colors that he heard were moving at the speed of a plane. Louis grasped on tightly to the thought of Harry, not daring to let go. He wanted to go on the ride. He wanted to stay on the ride. He wanted to make sure their ride never ended with each other. Louis would make sure that they would keep flying as long as they kept on playing.

 

He nuzzled his nose against Harry’s pillow, inhaling deeply. He purposely failed to change that pillowcase when he remade the bed with clean sheets. It was comforting being able to hold onto at least a small part of Harry. He still used the mahogany soap that Louis adored so very much. A shy smile curled onto his lips as he remembered the first time that he showered with Harry. It wasn’t sexual. It was intimate and soothing. It relaxed the men to the point of lazy kisses between Louis willingly washing Harry’s hair before his own. It felt so domestic then. He never thought that it would actually become his everyday life, no matter how much he desired it.

 

Now, here he lay, beyond the point of exhaustion, completely at ease with his life. He had a beautiful home and a well-paying job. His mother was doing well. His father’s job was going well. His brother had pride. Even if he wasn’t able to have any of those things, Louis thinks, he would still be just as happy knowing that Harry would be there to always keep a smile on his mouth. He didn’t need much more than that man in his life.

 

**_-_ **

 

Harry was bouncing up and down on his toes, a bright smile on his face as he stood on the edge of the sidewalk. He had just finished up his last show for the promo which meant he would be able to go home. To his dismay, the crew didn’t plan on traveling back to Seattle that night. They planned on partying it up in Olympia as one final hurrah. When they asked Harry if he was coming, he just shook his head and continued scrolling through his phone to figure out the next time for a Greyhound from Olympia to Seattle.

 

That’s where he just so happened to be now, suitcase and duffel in tow as he looked up the street for bright lights. He had managed to find one last trip for the night. His heart started to beat quickly when the vehicle came to a halt in front of him. He stumbled up the steps with his luggage. It was relatively empty when he glanced at the seats, so when he opted for a pair of open seats close to the front, he kept the luggage placed next to him. The driver pressed on the gas not long after he got situated in his seat, forehead pressed against the window.

 

His mind started to drift to thoughts of Louis. He had taken the time to call Louis before booking a ticket to let him know he would be home tonight. Harry could genuinely hear the excitement in his voice. That’s when his thoughts began to spiral out of control. He started thinking about what would have happened had Amaya not told Louis that the baby wasn’t his. What would have happened had Louis not come back to his apartment that day? Harry didn’t want to believe that Louis might have held onto Amaya despite all the reassurance he gave Harry about loving him. He let out a low sigh, hands clasped tightly in his lap.

 

_ The minute that Harry shut the door on Louis, he started crying silently, tugging at the sleeves of his sweater, well, more so Louis' sweater that Harry never bothered to give back. He curled himself into a helpless ball on the couch, just staring ahead at the blank wall in front of him. It was pointless to cry, it really was, but he just couldn’t stop. In that moment, he felt so small and stupid for believing that loving a married man would get him somewhere in life.  _

 

_ His back straightened when he heard a brisk knock on his door. He thought it was just one of his neighbors being bothersome, so he ignored it, hoping they would leave him alone. Maybe fifteen seconds later, another knock came, this time more urgent. Harry rolled his eyes, pushing himself up to his feet, wiping his eyes with the heel of his hand while the other reached to open the door. _

 

_ “What?” he asked sharply before fully seeing who it is. His heart leapt into his throat. _

 

_ “Let me stay?” Louis questioned, voice shaky, but a small smile on his lips. _

 

_ Harry ushered him in quickly, taking his bags and chucking them onto the floor, so he could lean into the man comfortably, hugging him tightly against him. That’s when Louis started crying and semi-laughing again, explaining to Harry what had happened so quickly in the time after he left. Harry didn’t know whether he should cry with Louis or smile in relief. Instead, he just held Louis in his arms, vowing in that moment to never let him go. _

 

Here Harry was, worried that Louis would have gone to Amaya. He knew Louis better than that. He should have known better than to even think that Louis would have completely given his heart back to Amaya. Louis had proven to him long enough ago that he was all Harry’s. Just the thought of that made Harry’s heart flutter, a smile appearing on his lips.

 

Harry thought about all the times Louis put a brave face on just to prove to Harry that he was okay. Harry knew the stress of the business world and filing for divorce at the same were not a good combination for the man, but despite how much Harry tried, it didn’t always alleviate the stress. Harry knew not to blame himself for it, so he refrained from apologizing constantly and decided to just be present to Louis when Louis needed someone.

 

Harry let out a short, muffled laugh. It had been Louis that finally convinced Harry to move into a proper house with him. Sure, Harry had an income that was steady enough, but nowhere close to what Louis had. He tried to convince Louis that he could wait until the following year when he knew things would be better, but Louis persisted. He brought up how he promised Harry a house and a family and fancy restaurants and business trips. From the look in Louis' eyes alone, Harry nodded his head in agreement, a grin on his lips as he jumped into Louis' arms. Harry liked to joke that the first night in the house was the christening since they had sex all night. The thought of it still made him blush stupidly.

 

No matter the happy thoughts that came to mind on the ride home, Harry still couldn’t seem to shake the thought of what the outcome would be for Louis if he wasn’t in the picture anymore. He wondered if Louis would be able to tell that the child didn’t resemble him in any fashion. He let out a huff, shaking his head as if the thoughts would just fly away. A small frown formed on his lips. He was hoping that it was just that he hadn’t seen Louis for a while. He kept repeating that over and over in his head until it seemed to stick just enough.

 

The rest of the ride was rather boring to say the least. Harry had to pretty much keep his eyes pried open, so he wouldn’t miss his stop. The instant the bus stopped at the station, Harry was ready to bolt out the door, heart racing. It was too late for a taxi to go all the way to his house, so he reluctantly opted for an Uber. Thankfully, one was just six minutes away which meant thirty-six minutes until he could see Louis, but who was counting? 

 

Harry was grateful that his driver wasn’t creepy and gave him plenty of peace as he clenched his duffel tightly in his arms, his knee bouncing. It was easy to stay awake this time, but it was also painstakingly slow. In the end, it was worth it when the headlights turned into the driveway, shining into the open front window. Harry could just barely make out Louis' body slumped against the glass. He thanked the driver immensely, a small chuckle leaving his mouth as he thought about how Louis fell asleep waiting for him.

 

Once he had his things out of the car and the car was gone, Harry stood in the driveway, staring up at the house. He smiled graciously, taking a deep breath. “I’m home.”

 

He quietly made his way into the house, careful not to wake Louis just yet. When he rounded the corner into the living room, his heart started racing again. Louis had his arms cross over his sternum, his chin tucked against his chest. He crept over to Louis and placed a gentle hand on Louis' shoulder which caused Louis to nearly jump out of his skin. However, when he saw who it was that woke him, he immediately jumped up, pulling the man into his arms tightly. Harry could hear the soft cries against his shoulder causing Harry’s eyes to gather tears.

 

“I missed you so much, darling,” Louis murmured against Harry’s neck.

 

“And I missed you, Louis. So very much.” He pulled Louis closer to him, if at all possible, not ready to let go quite yet. It took a solid two minutes before the two could pull away from each other, Louis peppering soft kisses all over Harry’s face making him giggle foolishly.

 

“We should go out for dinner tomorrow, yeah? A little celebration for all you hard work, sweetheart,” Louis whispered.

 

Harry pressed a kiss to Louis' lips as a yes before hiding his face against Louis' shoulder, a smile on his mouth. The older man wrapped an arm around Harry’s waist, tugging at him to follow him towards the bedroom, grinning. “I take that as a yes, but now let’s go snuggle and sleep. I’m sure that you are beyond exhausted right now.”

 

“Not wrong. Got up early today, and I couldn’t really sleep well last night because I was too busy thinking about coming home to you. Missed you too much to go out with everyone tonight. I wanted to be with you instead,” Harry murmured, turning out of Louis' grasp before taking Louis' hand in his, leading him through the bedroom door towards the bed.

 

The two were a mess of removing their own clothes. Harry had to hold back a laugh when Louis' foot got caught in the leg of his pants which made Louis roll his eyes playfully. Once the two were fully nude, they tugged the sheets back, crawling into the cool cocoon together. The only warmth they needed was each other’s body heat. Smiles appeared on their lips after they kissed lazily for a few moments.

 

“Don’t leave me again soon. I want to have you with me for some time, or at least if you do, I’m finding a way to come with you. I’m not about to be that far from you for that long. It was cold and miserable here without you,” Louis confessed.

 

“As if it was any better for me. An unknown bed every night with no one to hold? That was like torture. ‘M not letting you go,” Harry sighed, resting his chin on Louis' shoulder, hand pressed to his chest. In front of him on Louis' bedside table was a small notebook and pen and an empty wine glass. Harry pulled back to look at Louis inconspicuously. 

 

“Did you start a diary? I don’t remember you ever having that notebook with you before I left,” Harry asked slyly.

 

Louis looked dumbstruck for a moment before letting out a small laugh. “Oh, ha, yeah. I forgot that I even left it out. It’s mainly me writing about you being gone. Like what I would have said to you if you had been here each day with me.”

 

“Maybe sometime you can read them to me. I would love to hear how sappy you are when you are alone, darling.”

 

“Someday, sweetheart. Someday,” Louis murmured, pulling Harry back towards his chest, tangling their legs together with the sheets. He cradled the younger man to him, inhaling deeply. Harry smiled against Louis' skin, pressing soft kisses to his collarbone as he curled himself against the man before him.

 

“Love you, Louis,” Harry mumbled softly.

 

“I love you, Harry,” Louis responded, kissing the top of Harry’s head, eyes closing.

 

“So damn much,” Harry stated before shutting his eyes as well.

 

It didn’t take much effort at all for the two men to peacefully fall asleep all wrapped up in each other. It was the most content and at ease they felt in the past two months. Harry fell asleep thinking about Louis' lovey diary entries. Louis fell asleep thinking about how he wanted to love Harry for the rest of his life.

 

**_-_ **

 

Louis was the one that drove them into the city that night for dinner. He kept his eyes on the road the entire time, but one of his hands held Harry’s in his hand, keeping them connected. The conversation was there, but it was mainly the soft drone of whatever was playing on the radio at the time. The two didn’t need to speak to feel like they had each other.

 

Harry was dressed in tight black jeans and a chunky cream colored sweater rolled up at the sleeves despite the warmer air outside. Harry’s cheeks flushed when he saw Louis walk out of the bathroom earlier clad in fitted dress pants and a gray button up, the top two buttons undone, his sleeves also rolled up. Harry asked multiple times then if he should change, so he compared to Louis, but Louis refused. He took Harry’s hips in his hands, planting a kiss on his lips, telling he looked so beautiful just the way that he is.

 

Now here they were, sitting at a table of a restaurant that made Harry gawk. He felt like his presence was like vandalism. He fiddled with his hands in his lap, glancing around at the scenery.

 

“You are going to catch flies if you don’t shut your mouth, sweetheart,” Louis mused.

 

Harry blushed immensely, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth when he turned his attention back towards Louis. “‘M sorry, but this place is insane.”

 

“You deserve it. You worked so hard, and I want to be able to treat you to something even if it’s just a meal right now,” Louis spoke adamantly.

 

“Oh hush. You could have made waffles at home,” Harry started, leaning in across the table and lowering his voice so no one else heard, “And then fucked me all night.”

 

Louis' brow furrowed, his knee bouncing underneath the table. He let out a small breath, tilting his head. “We can go home, darling. We don’t have to stay here.”

 

Harry shook his head quickly, reaching out to take Louis' hand in his. “No, no. That isn’t what I meant. I am so content being here with you right now. I didn’t mean to sound ungrateful for what you are doing. I appreciate this so very much. I love it.”

 

Louis' shoulders relaxed noticeably, giving Harry’s hand a squeeze. “Okay, yes. I’m sorry. I just want you to enjoy yourself and things so well, you know? I don’t even know why I’m freaking about this. I know you didn’t mean any harm by that.”

 

Harry pressed a kiss to the curve of Louis' knuckles. “It’s okay. You are doing amazing. I swear to you. You always know how to make me happy.”

 

Louis let out a small laugh, glancing down at his lap shyly. “Tell me about these past two months.”

 

Harry smiled widely as he tried to cram every single detail about every single city as they wined and dined, passing adoring looks at each other from across the table. Louis loved the way Harry’s face lit up when he started talking about a part that really excited him. Louis listened fully, only turning his attention away once to graciously thank the waiter for their meal.

 

Harry took a small sip of wine before continuing. “I think we should go to Denver for yo-”

 

He quickly stopped speaking, dropping his fork to his plate, a look of shame appearing on his face. “Louis, oh my god. It’s your birthday. What is wrong with me? I-I had been so wrapped up just thinking about getting home to you, and I wasn’t paying attention to the dates and-”

 

“Harry, my dear, listen to me,” Louis spoke smoothly, leaning forward, eyes soft. “You know I don’t want to celebrate my birthday. All I wanted was for you to get home to me safely, and that is exactly what I got. There is nothing more I need than that.”

 

“But you are now  _ thirty.  _ I should at least be the one paying tonight,” Harry begged.

 

“No, Harry. I’m going to do this for you because that’s what I want to do. You have worked endlessly over this past year to get to this point. Even when you aren’t around, I am happy because I have you in my life. I know you are doing something you have always wanted to do. Let me do this for you. You have helped me so much this past year. You deserve it, okay?”

 

Harry let out a small sigh of defeat, nodding his head in response to Louis. He gave Louis a smile of thanks, fingers toying with the fork resting on his plate.

 

The rest of the dinner went by steadily. The two passing each other shy smiles, their eyes shining bright when one chuckled or said something rather silly. The drive home was the same as the drive there except Louis hummed along to all of the tunes, no conversation between the two. Louis, however, would squeeze Harry’s hand every once in a while to let him know he was still there with him.

 

“How about we relax on the back porch tonight?” Louis asked when they arrived inside the house.

 

Harry smiled, nodding his head. Louis motioned for him to head on outside, telling him that he would be out momentarily. Harry did just that, curling up on one end of the swing hanging from the top of the porch. He stared out at the yard in front of him, five minutes passing. He glanced around at the shrubbery and porch decorations, five more minutes passing. When it had been fifteen minutes, Harry started getting antsy, unsure of where Louis was. As if on cue, Louis emerged from the house holding two glasses of wine.

 

“Is that pinot?” Harry asked excitedly.

 

“Santa Margherita,” Louis answered, placing himself next to Harry, handing him a glass.

 

“What a saint, sweetheart,” Harry mused, leaning in to place a kiss on Louis' cheek.

 

Louis placed a hand on the back of Harry’s neck, stroking it soothingly, a small smile appearing on his lips. “I want to talk to you, Harry.”

 

Harry furrowed his brow, looking up at Louis from over the rim of his glass. “Okay?”

 

“Sh, it’s alright. Just listen to me, okay? You know my relationship with Amaya was far from perfect. But I’m not here to talk about Amaya. I’m here to talk to you about you, about us.”

 

Harry stayed quite, nodding his head slowly. Louis took this as a sign to continue speaking. “You lifted me up during all those times that I thought things weren’t going to work for me in any way whatsoever. You stayed there with me through all of the stupid things. I mean, they weren’t stupid because they helped me get to be here with you today. I wouldn’t want it any other way. You love me like no one else ever has, and I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone else.”

 

Harry took another sip of his wine before biting down on his lower lip, ushering for Louis to continue. “We had a lot of boundaries that were set up when things started. They took a long time to knock down, but I’m so glad that happened. I got to watch you fully blossom into this beautiful man that makes me heart beat like crazy, and I still to this day blush only for you. Not a moment goes by where I don’t think about my life with you. I’m still trying to figure out what you gave me to make me feel the way that I do around you. I am completely and utterly enamored with you, Harry.”

 

Harry set down his glass on the porch, the corners of his eyes collecting tears as Louis continued speak so passionately to him. “I’ve got you here in front of me. I’ve got you all around me. I feel you with me all the time. Now that you are here, I don’t want to just let you go. I feel like I am losing each and every breath around you because you are so beautiful and genuine and honest that it’s like a puncture to my lung.”

 

Louis brought his hand up to cup Harry’s jaw in his hand, trailing to pad of his thumb over the curve of his cheekbone, smiles appearing on both of their lips. “We are finally so close at this point. I want to keep this locked into place, yeah? All our love and memories and more memories that we will make together in the future in this house which I want to make our proper home. All for us.”

 

Tears were spilling over and rolling down Harry’s cheeks at this point. Louis tenderly wiped them away, leaning in to press a kiss to the tip of Harry’s nose which caused a giggle to pass his lips.

 

“Harry, I wrote what I would say to you everyday in that journal. I wrote how I would tell you that I would vow to keep you happy and healthy for the rest of our lives. I wrote how I would love you for the rest of my life because there is no one else that I want to spend it with. I comfortable to finally admit that this is what I needed all along in my life. I vowed to make sure that you always feel secure with who you are and to always believe in yourself and even when you can’t, I will because you mean so, so much to me.

 

“I never bought coffee and Oreos the night that you called me. I was out that night, yes, but I was making a purchase that was much more valuable and worthwhile than cookies. I went out and purchased my little journal and a set of ink pens, and I told myself that I would be able to do this. I went out, and I bought something for you to wear for the rest of your life,” Louis choked out, pulling a small black velvet box from his back pocket, holding it out in front of him for Harry to see. When he looked up, Harry’s mouth was covered with his hand, tears streaming down his face.

 

“I guess what I am trying to say here is, will you do me the honor of becoming my husband?” Louis asked softly, opening the box up to Harry.

 

Harry immediately nodded his head, leaping forward into Louis' arms, crying against his shoulder. That was when the tears started to flow from Louis' eyes, his body relaxing once Harry was against him. Harry’s voice was shaky when he spoke, “Yes, I will marry you, Louis.”

 

Louis let out a weak laugh, pulling Harry back a bit, so he could look at the man before him. “Third time’s the charm?”

 

“Three times?” Harry asked skeptically, but amused nonetheless.

 

“A pitiful story for another night. Right now I would like to kiss my fiance.”

 

He did just that, kissing Harry until smiles appeared on both of their mouths, their eyes dry of all tears. Their chests were filled with an immense warmth that couldn’t be compared to any feeling they have experienced before. They sat on the swing holding each other for the rest of the night, sipping wine and chatting. This would be the night that began the rest of their life together.

 

**_-_ **

 

Harry and Louis spent the following year planning out their wedding. They also spent the time tying up loose ends like Harry finally getting to meet Louis' family. The family spent all the holidays together up in Spokane with Louis' parents. The couple couldn’t stop smiling through every moment. Harry grew close to Louis' niece which melted Louis' heart when he saw the two curled up on the couch watching a Christmas movie special.

 

During this time, the two became even more domestic. They cooked a lot and did laundry together, just little things like that. Harry still spent a lot of time writing and composing while Louis was in meetings, but he would always play something sweet for Louis after a frazzling day. In return, Louis would massage Harry’s shoulders. Then, every morning, Louis would press a kiss to sleeping Harry’s forehead, coffee and bag in his hands, knowing very well that Harry stayed up way too late scribbling away on post-it notes.

 

Louis made a habit of playing with the fingers on Harry’s left hand. He would trace over where the ring was placed on his finger, a smile appearing on his lips. Harry told him, up until the point of the wedding that he was still shocked how Louis made it possible to keep his promise to him.

 

It wasn’t until the end of September of the following year when the two got married. They wanted to have it on the last day of summer before a new season, a new life was brought to them. The day was surprisingly sunny, but there was a bite to the air. The ceremony was held in Portland at a small place called Opal 28. It was intimate with only a select few friends and Louis' family. Harry tried to not let Louis know how his parents not being there affected him. However, Louis knew better. He knew the sorrow in his eyes was because of that. Louis kissed him deeply, saying that Harry was part of his family, and his parents would take care of him. He told Harry he loved him dearly, and would continue to for the rest of his life. Harry couldn’t help but smile at his words.

 

They married on the patio with a quick urge before heading inside to for the reception. They wore fitted black suits adorned with baby blue detail for the ties and handkerchiefs in their breast pockets. Inside on the tables, white and blue jasmine sat in clear vases. Food came soon after which was followed by a coffee bar. This gave the newlyweds time to go around and talk to all of their guests which was a breeze due to the minimal guest list.

 

When the sun started to set, everyone was up on their feet watching Louis and Harry have their first dance. They chose a song by James Blunt. Harry cried into Louis' chest as they swayed back and forth, Louis holding the younger man close to him, tears threatening to spill over at any moment. They kissed each other as they separated, Louis' mom taking Harry’s spot while everyone applauded. Harry gazed at Louis admirably. Louis’ mother whispered to her son telling him she promised him last year that she would be here for this moment. She had been the first person to know about Louis' plans.

 

After much convincing, Harry accepted Louis' mother’s hand, so he could have his dance as well, Harry blushing furiously as Louis squeezed his hip before stepping onto the floor. Louis started crying this time, watching his husband dance with his mother, a satisfied smile on his lips. His father hugged him, giving him a clap on the back. He let his son know just how proud he was of him which caused Louis to cry even more. That was until he felt hands on his waist, hands that belonged to Harry, his Harry.

 

As the night dwindled, people left until it was just Louis and Harry together. Louis held his hand out to Harry asking him for one last dance. Harry’s eyes were beaming in the soft light of the room, a soft breath passing his lips as he nodded, taking Louis' hand in his. Harry told him not to play any music. With a bewildered expression on Louis' face, Harry began singing.

 

“‘ _ You are the best one, of the best ones,”  _ Harry sang into Louis' ear, a chill running down Louis' spine which caused him to squeeze Harry’s hand tightly. A grin curled on to Harry’s mouth.

 

“‘ _ We all look like we feel, _ ’” Harry murmured, holding Louis tight to his chest. Louis brushed his lips over Harry’s jaw softly.

 

“‘ _ You have stolen my, _ ’” Harry whispered against Louis' cheek, taking a deep breath before continuing, “‘ _ You have stolen my heart.’ _ ”

 

They kissed each other softly, bumping noses and all as if they were inexperienced teens, but they giggled nonetheless, bright smiles on their lips. Their necks and cheeks were flushed bright red.

 

“I didn’t think you would make it here, Louis,” Harry mused.

 

“I wouldn’t miss this for the world, Harry,” Louis responded.

 

It was then that everything came full circle for the couple dancing the night away in Portland. Even though they were miles away from where it began in Seattle, miles away from where it lived in San Diego, miles away from every city that kept them separated, and miles away from what they planned on doing for each other for the rest of their lives, they still managed to keep a home built in each other’s arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you immensely for letting me share my work with you. Kudos is greatly appreciated. Please give me feedback or comments if you can. Love you all.


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